M2gD3S and other poxes
By Len@Large
The precipitating clinical presentation:
The 2020 Super Bowl concludes and a 73-year-old orange-white male presents to the academy of the twits-o-sphereNM with the following:
(Ed.—The identity of the subject has been masked in order to comply with
HIPAA regulations concerning patient confidentiality)
Discussion and hypothesis development
I did not watch the game or any of the post-game coverage so it wasn’t until the next day that I learned of this from my daily morning canvassing of commentary peppered with unpitying pouncing of the political punditry. Such tweety birds!
Upon hearing of the error, and noting that it was quickly corrected, I began to wonder how many people think the KC in the tweet is in KS? A little research from an unimpeachable source (LOL!) suggested there are many, regardless of their educational level or station in life, present across all socio-economic and status groups, be they pissants or presidents—or possibly a pissant president.
Something about this botch bothered me. It seemed more than just a minor misstatement…more a prodrome for what I have long sensed is a widespread endemic/pandemic condition concentrated in certain cells or demographic corps. [Ed.—not corpse. More later.]
So here at L@L, we decided to conduct a searweous examination to determine with our patent-pending process to produce scientific-scertainty,L@L as to which of the following correctly corroborates thinking that a city named after a state must, therefore, be located in that state, is caused by:
a) an infectious disease, possibly caused by alien DNA or other “foreign influences;”
b) an intellectual/mental disorder/dysfunction;
c) weaponized Wuhan flu;
d) all of the above;
e) none of the above, therefore, by default, the Russians, or something…
The SCIENCE!L&L
Our clinical investigation began by determining the number of existing cities named after the state of their location presenting in the format:
Xxxxxx City, Xxxxxx.
For clinical evaluation purposes, we are calling these cities with this taxonomical structure congruents.
Arizona City, AZ
Arkansas City, AR
California City, CA
Colorado City, CO
Delaware City, DE
Florida City, FL
Idaho City, ID
Iowa City, IA
Jersey City, NJ*
Kansas City, KS
Maryland City, MD
Michigan City, MN
Minnesota City, MN
Missouri City, MO
Montana City, MT
Nebraska City, NE
New York City, NY**
Oklahoma City, OK
Oregon City, OR
Tennessee City, TN
Texas City, TX
A statistical analysis shows that 19 of the 57 states—33.3%—have such a congruent city in their state. This is considered statistically significant.
* **However, some anomalies were noted.
Many deplorables and kulaks cling to their outmoded educations of yore which included civics lessons that taught them there are only 50 states. Should this ever be proven true through proper SCIENCE!ing, our statistical analysis would require shaming correction. Re-crunching the numbers based on 50 states but still excluding Jersey City changes the result to 38% the number of States having congruent cities but climbs to 40% if ’Jersey City is included.
Evaluation and Conclusion leading to Diagnosis (Dx)
According to the Centrums for Disease Control, ”The Kansas City Conundrum” is the most common clinical presentation of the error, perhaps due to its unique causation: Epidemiological studies reveal a complex history that resulted in a municipal mitotic event (MME) whereby one city became two cities adjacent to each other but in two different states sharing a common border, contributing to the creation of a conurbation.
Observe:
A secondary contributing factor is the cerebral cross-contaminating conundrum that there is also a Missouri City, MO, as per the congruent list.
Given these examples and the statistical evaluation of the specific nomenclature structure taxonomy, it is not unintelligibly unreasonable to think Kansas City would be in Kansas—especially since there is one—just not the one in the gridiron-contest context of the twisted tweet.
After careful observation, documentation, evaluation, and identification of common defining characteristics, we have concluded there is significant and compelling evidence to support the existence of a bona fide organic condition with geographic and/or contextual error characteristics of a dissonance/distortion disorder. Therefore, in accordance with WHO guidelines, we have defined, and do hereby declare by decree, the diagnostic designation
Municipal Geo-Misplacement DisorderMM.
But there’s always a but…
As is often the case in diagnostic dilemmas, there are presentations that mimic currently codified conditions, diseases, or disorders that on closer examination do not meet decided clinical diagnostic standards, suggesting the possibility of a variant, or perhaps even a distinctly different malady.
Consider:
-Alabama City, AL used to be a separate municipality, now part of Gadsden.
-Arkansas City, AR is actually a small town.
-Ohio City is a village in Ohio and also a section of Cleveland.
-Mississippi City, MS existed as such until annexed as part of Gulfport in 1965.
-Nevada City, NV is “a socialist ghost town.”
Consider also that since the cause of this disorder is not yet known with absolute scientific-scertaintyL@L, we postulate a probability that municipalities spontaneously mutated and metastasized (M&M) to other states. Consider the following clinical evidence of cities that follow the following M&M structure:
Xxxxx City, [State:(NOT)Xxxxx (but)Yy]
For clinical purposes these will be called incongruents:
Arkansas City, KS
Colorado City, AZ, TX
Georgia City, MO, TX
Indiana City, PA
Michigan City, IN
Missouri City, TX
Montana City, CO (so named until renamed Denver)
Nevada City, CA
Virginia City, NV (featured often in the TV series Bonanza)
Washington City, UT
Three (3) of the cities in this M&M list—plain to see and therefore not peanuts in their significance—are also included in the congruent list making it highly likely a bat-crazy list cross-over became an agent of causation that could lead to thinking all of the M&Ms could exist in the state after which their city is named. I’m not going to candy-coat this: These incongruent M&M variants, while closely related in their presentation to MG-MD, suggest a different pattern of the disorder and a diagnostic dichotomy requiring a more complex differential diagnosis (DDx). We are designating this
Municipal Geo-Translocation DisorderMM
And we’re not done yet…
Further complicating a proper DDx are these cities named after states other than the one in which they exist, presenting in the formal format of The City of Xxxxx, State, but usually seen as City, State without the word City in their proper name:
California, MO, KY
Delaware, OH
Florida, MA
Indiana, PA
Nevada, IA, MO, TX
Virginia, IL, MN
Washington, IL, KY, NC
Wyoming, MI, IA, MN
We are calling this vexing variant Sans-City RecombinantsMM
[Ed. Caution: Be careful of your pronunciation, otherwise this could be confused with a Las Vegas-based wife-swapping club thus debasing the intellectual ardor of this study, making impotent the tools required to plumb the depths of the ins-and-outs involved in producing this explosive seminal research].
I’m really sensing something significant here from all this searwious SCIENCE!ing!L&L…
But wait, there’s more…
Other mind-boggling exacerbating factors have been identified:
–Indiana City was a town planned but never built.
-Texas, NY is a hamlet officially part of the town of Mexico, NY
-Washington, D.C. is a District, not a state, despite some (wishfully) thinking otherwise.
And yet another non-standard presentation involves the “New” category:
There is a New Georgia, GA
and, of course, New York, NY; but also
New York, FL, IA, KY, MO, and TX.
We designate this variant Sans-City Recombinant-Newbies.MM
Sufferin’ Succotash! We have described no less than 4 (four) standard and non-standard presentations or varieties of various variants suggesting we have likely documented an unlikely full-blown syndrome! Who would have ever thunk such a thing was possible? We need an all-encompassing diagnostic syndromic name, again, in accordance with accepted WHO standards:
Multiple-Municipal geo-Dissociative Displacement-Disorders SyndromeMM (M2gD3S)
Our secret sample patient approved of said designation, calling it “perfect.”
A warning for diagnostic discernment and discretion
In order to mightily mitigate the possibility of a debased or fake DDx, and to curb confusion, it is critically crucial not to be baffled or befuddled which could occur if you incautiously include—incorrectly—any of the hundreds of irrelevant towns, townships, hamlets, villages, communities, populated places, and census designations such as these egregious examples below in developing your DDx, particularly if said locations are in fly-over country which could obviate odious outcomes:
Arizona Township, NE [unincorp community]
Arkansas, WV [unincorp community]
California, MD [census place]
California, MI [township]
California PA [borough]
California, WV [ghost town]
Iowa, LA [town]
Kansas, AL [town]
Kansas, GA [unincorp community]
Kansas, IL [village within the twp of Kansas]
Kansas, OH [census designated place in Liberty Twp]
Kansas OK [town]
Michigan, WV [unincorp community]
Nevada, IN [unincorp community in another Liberty Twp], OH [village]
New Hampshire, OH [census location in Goshen Twp]
Texas, NJ [unincorp community]
Texas, WV [was a post office location from 1858 to 1909]
Texas, WI [town]
Texas City, IL [not a city, but an unincorp community]
Virginia, NE [village]
And here is a semi-mnemonic Z-chain (snap-snap-snap-snap) of other locales of this non-inclusive category, provided as a study aid for those about to take their medical boards:
Wyoming, Minnesota
Minnesota, California
California, Georgia
Georgia, Kansas
Kansas, Vermont
Vermont, Indiana
Indiana, Pennsylvania
Pennsylvania, Alabama
Alabama, New York
New York, Florida
Florida, Ohio
Ohio, Texas
Texas, Maryland
Maryland, Louisiana
Louisiana, Missouri
[Ed note: The list was found floating about in the interweb-thingy. As is expected when referencing other works of SCIENCE!ing, proper citing credit is due to its creator, someone self-identified only as 01101001/Order of Kalopi, which The Committee suspects, based on stealthy steely research, is passing as a pedicurist in Hawaii; and with no proof whatsoever, we assume is a Russian agent, just because. With minimal effort you should easily be able to find out how we came to that conclusion, without the benefit of special prosecutors, the FBI, the CIA (gastro or gov’ment), or House select committees.]
We stopped to take a breath and had a thought. In the interest of pure SCIENCE!ing,L@L we asked ourselves: Should we consider the possibility that the error in the tweet was just a simple gaffe, a lapsus linguae, a synaptic slip?
But then we sniffed some smelling salts, laughed at the obvious stupidity of the question in these times, and based simply on evidence that this syndrome appears to be particularly profound in presidential pronouncements and profundity, and infecting—equally, finally— all genders of imprudent president-wannabes, e.g., Elizabeth Warren’s faux…well, everything (remember her?…Anyone?…Bueller?…), and anytime Joe Biden’s lips are moving for more than 2 seconds. Both represent prominent presentations, though not always of the syndrome(s) under present discussion, more often as delusional delirium, or simple foot-in-mouth disease (though dementia in the case of Biden appears plainly plausible based on bountiful boo-boos).
Perhaps you caught it (but wouldn’t be surprised if you read right over it), earlier in this research where we mentioned—very deliberately—that there are 57 states. It must be true because it was The Anointed One himself who stated this.
The 57-state statement would be just another example of M2gD3S except there were perhaps as many attempts to spin the error as there were stating it was simply a mistake. Another manifestation of the syndrome is thinking there are 52 states. That is not some simple slip, and we think it is more than just the Mandela Effect, but the result of an increasingly evident socio-political pathogen which we will identify in due course.
There have been just too many mistakes of too many varieties being made far too often, including The Precious previous potentate—allegedly, deservedly privileged with an Ivy-education—who made these—among so many, so easily found.
[Ed.-L@L suggested strong remedial recommendations for this sad situation here.]
Is it just a Presidential Pox?
Many other forms of cognitive disease present within the exceptionally symbiotic-parasitic relationship-correlationL@L (SPRC) between the political (host) and (parasitic) “journalism” corps (again, not corpse). Cross infection usually presents as erudition from representative SPRC corpsmen (ED: or women) that quickly elevates to full viral status such as in this case of superlative knee-jerk jingoistic-“journalism,” followed immediately by this computer-model predicted slight-of-mind misdirection-apologetic that, of course, also went viral as well.
Trivial?…we think not! So much so that we have designated this broad-spectrum kindred-complex Deaf, Dumb and Blind Multiplex Disorder (DD&BMD).MM
Listing the huge number of organizational acronyms infected by DDBS (e.g., CNN, MSNBC, WaPo, NYT, TDB, etc., endlessly) and all the sins of the Fifth Columns of the Fourth Estate (FCFE)L@L would require a volume of a size not seen since the hey-day of the Sears® catalog. Disclaimer: Unlike previously mentioned newly-named maladies, the DD&BMD designation does not follow guidance from the WHO but from The Who. We think the boys in the band (not The Band) would not be be-clowned and especially not get fooled again by associating with those who have this affliction.
In the course of this research, we have also identified other SPRC/DD&BMG-related symbionts. Our research into the cause(s) of this pox would not be complete unless tens-of-months and tens-of-millions of dollars are used by tens-of-### of swamp minions and their endless supply of unidentified pathogen hosts—political remoras sometimes called “sources” or puckered-up exhaling breather-blowers—who appear like magic whenever the blue political sharks need to justify and conduct continuous somber and prayerful probes for predetermined obvious outcomes, based on probable promulgation of another president, that of Putinland, where, as has been postulated, these poxes were purposely produced and propagated to perpetually poison our polity. We need more investment in investigating these instigators.
We conclude, despite our incomplete research into the cause(s) of the now-named known forms of the primary syndrome discussed here, that the political class is the largest carrier/victim pool and therefore also the leading propagators/disseminators and the common denominator of its virulent pandemic spread, aided dutifully, but selectively, by parasitically psychotic and sycophantic malfeasant media whose bombastic bias is based entirely on who the present president is.
Ed.-updated evidence.]
Proposing a perfect poxic postulate
Are you beginning to understand the full potential impact of this panoply of presidential pestilence? This continuum from POTUS to POTUS ad infinitum empirically suggests potential common modes of transmission in that
-all shared the same Oval Office,
-breathed the same air and
-touched the same objects and surfaces within the edifice—
leading us to conclusively conclude that the most credible common-communicative mode of infection is by contact with said surfaces;
and that the most probable mode of common contact was sharing the same seat of POTUS-power: the presidential potty.
Further analysis of this phenomenon produced a gas-tlyNM observational result in that, to date, all presidents have been genetic males, ipso facto proving with the fool-proof progressive phallically-phobic presumption that if a genetic female (give or take) held the seat of said office, the patriarchal circle could be broken once uni-/poly-/all-sex toilets are the law-of-the-land as a means of prescribing equal abilities and resources to ensure that all buttocks, bungholes, and buttheads can, by bearing down with no effort, achieve equity of equally fetid, diluted outcomes.
We here at L@L suggest research should continue to investigate the following basic (incon)testable hypotheses and conclusions, that in increasing order of likelihood, this syndrome, or syndrome of syndromes, could be the result of
1) biological pathogens (as per the TV series Brain Dead, canceled mysteriously);
2) a national melange of mental disorders, dystopian dementia or disruptive cognitive decay;
3) afore-alluded to socio-political pathogens that are being continually and continuously, conceived, produced, and disseminated by our increasingly dysfunctional educational systems that are systematically, and demonstrably, creating systemically dumbed-down junior-jenerations.
[Ed. note Re: junior-jenerations — Do not confuse this phrase as exclusively referencing only the junior-Jenners (offspring of the supremely dazed and deformed decathlete formerly known as Bruce).]
Calamitous conclusions
But we have gotten far afield from the primal problematic tweet. Our purpose here at L@L was to point out that this “thing” is therious, a small indication of a much broader and more pervasive problem, particularly evident in the Blue-BeltwayL@L symbiotic-parasitic politico-media complex; made up on one side who think themselves savant-like “public servants” who know best, often entrenched for life. And on the other, self-ascribed, self-important, self-validated, and unassailable hero-guardians of democratic freedoms and institutions, oblivious to the malady of being blind to being tone-deaf to the reality that they are functionally no different from their supermarket/TV tabloid spawn.
There is one thing that cannot be questioned because of its settled scientific-scertaintyNM: The confusion and chaos caused by these devastating disorders cannot continue. The climate in which they have been cultivated must be canceled before more childhoods are stolen. We have less than 12 years before this social-syphilis breaches the blood-brain barrier of the general popular-populace, advances to the terminal third-stage tipping-point, and becomes another Capone-cranium-killing-calamity after which none of this will matter.
Therefore, we here at L@L do declare that the government of the world needs to react now (pounding a petulant fist) by promulgating prophylactic prescriptive research sanctioned by all government agencies at all levels, as well as university and non-affiliated research centers anywhere and everywhere on the planet (after receiving the appropriate “significant guidance document”). This means distributing billions of dollars from graft-grants from the public piggy banks now, damn it (pounding both fists petulantly), in the name of SCIENCE!ing!
The future of this feature?
Our work here will likely become incorporated in a future edition of The Merck Manual of Diagnosis and Therapy, or the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders—whichever proves most appropriate—perhaps reaching the ultimate honor of becoming future factoid fodder for featuring on Jeopardy! (RIP AT) or at the very least, a CommonCore curriculum cornerstone. We are, however, more certain this research will be noticed by the Nobel selection committee for the prize in Medicine; and given the timeless global significance of our work here, may double-up by getting the Peace Prize as well, provided it still exists.
We hope future SCIENCE!tists get behind getting to the bottom of this scatalogic-scourgeL@L before it becomes totally impacted, preventing it from being wiped from the dark recesses of its fetid formation and being flushed to the cesspool of viral Valhalla.
Sufferin’ succotash! Searweous stuff, indeed!
That’s all (for now) folks!
